I haven’t posted for quite a while. Frankly, I’ve thought a lot about the BIG PICTURE with what we’re trying to achieve, and have done some things towards that end, however I haven’t been keeping it ‘logged’ on this Blog.
Summer is now over and my little girl is back at school. I have to say that I am so grateful to be with her on this journey of growing up, because there were a few moments back there – you know ‘back there’ the big one – where I thought this wouldn’t happen. Mind you the moments were few and very short lived because I’m a stubborn old cow, and once I set my mind to it, there was no way that my little girl wasn’t going to remember her momma. That was the key objective at that time. She knows me know – maybe her perception of what/who I am is a bit overinflated, but she knows me. We still need some substantial amount of time together so that she can know me as an adult, not just a kid who gets lots of love, but also lots of rules from me. I picked her up from school yesterday and she told me that they were watching a video about Terry Fox, and how she thinks I’m like him. I told her that this is not even close to being the case – I can’t see myself taking on as much as that amazing dude. I do hope to affect change in a similar capacity, but it will not be by running across Canada. She came back with – “well he got really sick and almost died, then when he didn’t he wanted to change things for the better and let people know about cancer, and he did, but then he died, which I hope doesn’t happen to you for a long time.” It’s interesting to see how she sees this whole situation, because I see myself as a schmo who has a big mouth and a rather tenacious (read stubborn) personality, and I’ve taken these two ‘cons’ and tried to change them into ‘pros’. Only time will tell.
I keep sending emails and letters and rational, logical pleas (not the sappy, kneeling type) to many businesses, organizations and celebrities who might understand the problem first hand and be more open the idea that we can do something to change it. I am not getting a lot in return, but I will keep trying because my continued attempts, emphasize my commitment to this idea. I am sure many of my hand written letters end up in the garbage either unread or read by some young assistant who hasn’t stopped to think about the fact that they in fact know numerous people who are affected by autoimmune, but with a lucky and healthy youth comes self centeredness (not the bad kind, but just the “I can’t see much suffering or existence past my own situation” kind) – and I only say that because I was there. My family was sick all around me and I didn’t really think of what they’re experiencing, how it relates to the big picture and the fact that it can affect me and my kids one day. I had to get sick to see it. The universe gives us what we need, not only to be more empathetic but also to push ourselves and find the best within.
I just took a fantastic Art of Living Course last weekend which focused on THE BREATH amongst other important things. It was a wonderful experience which I shared with my mom and 7 other beautiful women. There was a lot of letting go of negative emotions, toxicity in the body (of which I happen to have lots due to my meds) and some antiquated belief systems. It was quite the timing too because prior to the course I kept getting calls from my GP who wanted to follow up on a Respiratory Function Test I took last month. I’ve known this myself, but the test got the docs on my case because my Oxygen saturation levels are severely low (high 80’s low 90’s) and there was a slight marked improvement when I puffed a dilator. So I went to the doc – as per his request where he wanted me to go on a steroid puffer – this was right after the course and all the ancient, sacred knowledge I downloaded from the course, so I asked him to hold off for 40 days until I practice the Sudarshan Kryia, as promised to my teacher and my friend Seema. I will get another respiratory test and see if there is any marked improvement post 40 days. I really am not interested in adding any more drugs to the cocktail. I need to be eliminating rather than adding. I will post the outcome of this little single person experiment.
In the meantime I promise to do my very very best at what I do for this project. There are times when I can’t do much, but there are times when I can give’er, as we say in Canada, and I hope that one day we can breathe a sigh of relief when autoimmune is no longer in our vernacular. I am inspired by Shri Shri and his organization and the changes they are making globally. I am not even in the same category of existence as him, but I am sure inspired by him and the best I can do is give it my all.